5 Questions People Ask Homeschoolers, And Why You Should Never Ask Them

I may be in college now, but I was homeschooled for most of my school days.  So I know a thing or two about the annoying questions people ask you when you’re homeschooled.

Here are 5 of common questions people asked me, and why you should never ask a homeschooler these questions..


1. “How do you make friends/socialize?”

This is probably one of the MOST frequently asked questions when you’re a homeschooler..

I feel like when you tell someone that you’re homeschooled, people picture some kind of sheltered scaredy cat that are too terrified to talk to people or even leave the house..

To answer this question, we make friends the same way as YOU do..  Amazing right?!  Homeschoolers may not have a huge school to meet countless friends at, but we DO meet people!  (Everywhere!)

We meet people at the Library, at the store, at parks, and we even meet other homeschoolers at homeschool groups!  Not to mention all of the extra stuff we do where we make friends!  (Sports teams, music classes, ACT classes, Co-op, roller rinks, bowling ally’s, etc.)

*I’d like to add something to this question that has been brought to my attention..  Although this is a frequently asked question, and yes, it bugs homeschoolers a lot to be asked this over and over again.  Not everyone asking this question is just out to confirm another stereotype.  Sometimes people are genuinely curious about this question because they would like to know more about homeschooling, and we as homeschoolers should remember this and take the time to explain it to people so that they understand.  Who knows, you may have just convinced another person to homeschool their children..  (Unless it’s your Great Aunt asking for the 20th time that year because she’s worried that your parents aren’t raising you right.  Then it’s okay to dodge the question.) 😉 


2. “So, you don’t really do any ‘schoolwork’ right?”

This is normally followed by; “don’t you just sit around playing video games all day?” or “I wish I was homeschooled so that I didn’t have to do schoolwork.”  . . . . .

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha NO..  (Shakes head)

You would’t believe how much schoolwork we actually have to do!  We don’t just listen to a teacher talk all day and then have to come home and do homework.  Our whole day IS doing homework!

See, when you’re homeschooled, chances are your parents take it upon themselves to give you some creative ways to learn..  Example?


My brother and I have had to make countless things and present them to our ‘teacher(s)’..

That’s right, we don’t get out of presentations ether.  We too had to write papers,  create diagrams, and even make models of what we were learning about in school that year..


My brother and I also had to make a human body out of felt (organs), pipe-cleaners (rib cage), cardboard and yarn (bones and veins) and pantyhose (Small and Large intestines).

When we were done with this little ‘project’, my mother drove us over to the Military Hospital (we lived on an Army Base at the time) where about 6 medics quizzed us on the parts of the body and graded us on both the work we did and the knowledge we knew..  (I got a B)

I was in middle school at the time..



On top of all of those ‘fun’ projects above, I still had homeschooling classes with other homeschooled kids.  Things like; ACT prep classes, forensic science classes, art classes, computer and robotic classes, and many other classes my brother and I took with our homeschool groups over the years.


3. “Do you go to school in your Pajamas?”

You know, I honestly don’t know why people insist on asking this question so often..  I mean, are people really that interested in what I wear to school all day?

And the sad part is, I can’t say ‘no’ to this!  Yeah, there are plenty of times I’ve stayed in my PJ’s all day while doing schoolwork!  And a lot of times, it’s normally because I’m sick!  (Yeah, that’s right, no sick days for homeschooled kids!)

Most days, I got up at 7:00 in the morning, got dressed, and started school by 8:00 in the morning.  I put on normal clothes (almost) everyday, not PJ’s.  Although yes, the rules are a bit more relaxed on that subject of ‘what you wear’ when you’re homeschooled, I still had to get dressed for the day and look presentable, just like everyone else.



4. “Oh, you’re homeschooled?  So do you know what __ is / have you learned about __?”

This usually comes up when you’re a homeschooler and you’re talking to a public school friend.  These ‘friends’ tend to think that they are smarter than you and that you’re just a dumb homeschool kid who doesn’t know anything..  And they love to prove it by asking you something that they themselves have probably just learned in school themselves, in an attempts to make YOU look stupid (and is normally said in front of others)..

I can’t tell you how many times someone has done this to me over the years..

Let me tell you something..  If I were to do this to any of my public school friends, I would have no friends!  This is honestly just a rude question because you could literally ask someone from a different public school that same question, and they probably wouldn’t know ether, because every school teaches in a slightly different way!

What if I were to ask you something like that?  I’d just come off as mean sounding, would’t I?  So why do people insist on asking questions like this and thinking that it proves anything?  That’s like judging a fish on it’s ability to climb a tree!


And finally..

5. Don’t you wish you were in public school?

Honestly?  No!  I’ve had the best years of my life because I was homeschooled.  I’ve gotten to do a lot of things because I was homeschooled, and because of that I will always be thankful for my parents decision to homeschool us.

Sometimes, yeah, us homeschoolers think about what it would be like if we went to public school.  And a few of us actually decide to go to public school during High School!  But for the most part, why would we want to go to public school, when being homeschooled is so great?

If you’re honestly curious about this question, a better way to ask this would be: “Do you like being homeschooled?”  (To which the answer will probably be a ‘Yes’, followed by why they like being homeschooled vs public schooled.)


((Read Part 2 here! 3 MORE Questions People Ask Homeschoolers, And Why You Should Never Ask Them))


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  1. Great insights, but I have to ask, why is it offensive to ask how someone homeschooled made friends? Knowing that most kids go to traditional schools and make friends there, it seems like a reasonable question for someone who is wanting to understand more about how it works for kids who don’t have the typical public school day where they are away from home from 8-3 (or more). As a woman trying to adopt who is very interested in home schooling our child(ren), it is a pretty standard question to ask parents who have done that what kind of opportunities they had in their communities for their kids to hang out with other kids…especially if it’s not religious-based home schooling. I guess I’ll compare it to this: most folks go to a regular workplace, while a much smaller percentage work from home. I often get the question about isolation, and it’s a very valid one! When I worked from home living in the city, there were a lot of others who did this and opportunities to socialize all day long, but now that I do it from home in the country, it is MUCH more isolating because of where we live and limited number of folks working from home here compared to the city. I don’t take offense because it’s a natural question, and many folks want to imagine if working from home would work for them in their community (just like home schooling would work for their kids, as there are so many forms of HS including part time, unschooling, religious and non-religious-based).

    Anyhow, just trying to offer a different perspective on Q1. The other questions, I totally get what you’re saying, as they come across really uncouth. Having been through years of failed fertility treatments and multiple failed adoptions, to this day I still get idiots running their mouths about what they think my experience was like or tell me what I should do – rather than simply asking me to educate them, which I don’t mind at all, since very few have gone through what we have.

    Thanks for listening!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s not so much ‘offensive’ as it is annoying.. This question gets asked so often and by some people who don’t really want to listen to the answer that it sometimes feels like people are almost ‘teasing’ or ‘belittling’ us for what they think is truth but isn’t. But you do make a very valid point. I do admit that although this question gets asked way too much, I (along with a few other homeschoolers I know) probably jump the gun a little too fast when it comes getting annoyed at the socialization question.. But you ARE right, for every person asking that question out of ignorance, there is another asking because they want to know more. I will have to give that some thought and add a little revision onto my post about that..

      I thank you very much for showing me a different way to look at that question. Maybe next time someone brings that up, I won’t be so quick to sigh and roll my eyes, and instead I’ll wonder if they are genuinely curious about homeschooling life and how it works.


      • thank you! i know, i get a lot of questions that exhaust the hell out of me in my own life and it’s easy to forget that folks are often just ignorant. and i definitely get the underlying vibe some have that those who home/un-school are ‘unsocialized’ – my favorite being that kids ‘need’ school to develop proper social skills when, if anything, most kids who homeschool have better social skills than those of us who had to deal with the bullying and stereotypes and pressures of traditional school. that being said, my husband went to boarding school and my knowledge of that topic is limited to the movie ‘dead poets society’ so he’s had to educate me a ton – everyone thinks its this big snobby thing when there’s so much more to it (and it’s so so traumatic for kids who get sent away like that).

        living in oregon i see a pretty diverse bunch of options for homeschooling that are so cool and amazing, and have also seen through the adoption process kids whose parents claim to be HS-ing and were simply neglecting their kids (which of course is all we hear about in the media, the small % of bad things). The more you share, the more we all see the positives 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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