Today I Fall Asleep Defeated

For the most part, I try to be a very positive and kind person..  I smile, I say please and thank you, I help everyone who needs it, and no mater what someone says to me, I grin and bear it because I know that those people are going through crap too.

Today is one of those days I had to grin and bear it.


Today, I didn’t feel well.

My parents were in town for the weekend and my grandmother wanted them to come over for dinner.  I felt sick to my stomach, and I had to sit through a dinner with my family where I had to listen to my grandmother complain that I wasn’t eating any of the food that she had spent all morning making.

After dinner was done and my parents left, I changed into my pajamas and settled in for the night with my laptop and a good book.  Not long after, my grandmother had found the cheesecake she had made for desert in the fridge, and she had wanted my brother and I to drive desert over to my parents because (heaven forbid) no one had any desert.  Thankfully, they only live a few minutes away..

Over to my parents house we went, both of us in our pajamas, to deliver a desert that no one remembered.

When we got home (after dark), my car wouldn’t turn off..

This has happened many times before and it was something that I thought that my Uncle and I had fixed it..  (Apparently not.)  I sat outside in 10 degree temperatures for about 20 minutes trying to get the stupid car to shut off, only to have to call my parents and ask them what on earth to do..

Ten minutes later, my father showed up and (after fiddling with the key and the car) showed me how to disconnect the battery so that I wouldn’t have a dead battery by tomorrow morning.

The car is tomorrows problem now.


Still sick to my stomach and laying in bed now, I am now trying to remain calm and not let my emotions win out tonight.  All my mind wants to do is cry, but I’m honestly so emotionally exhausted tonight that I wish I could just fall asleep.

I love my family.  They are always there for me, and I know that they will always be there for me.  But sometimes we just have those days where we don’t want help, we want to just be left alone to cry over how miserable our (insert problem here) is.

Like I said, I normally try to be a very positive person.  But today has just kicked my butt..

I’m tired.  I feel defeated.  And although I know that sleep won’t help me with my problems, it will help me to temporarily escape them for a while..

I’m hopeful for tomorrow.  I yearn for a new day.  And I hope that somewhere out there, someone is being more positive than me right now with their problems. ❤


  1. Families are wonderful except when they aren’t. Hang in there. I am new to your blog, but would your grandmother have been upset if you let her know in advance you were bringing a dish appropriate for your diet large enough for everyone to try? Or is this just part of her personality? Grandparents are sometimes the best and sometimes the worst of relatives and most of the time both!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha I actually live with my grandparents, I moved in a while back to help take care of them, and I wasn’t even allowed in the kitchen that day because my grandmother was so focused on cooking enough food for everyone, and she likes things done a ‘certain way’. And it wasn’t that I didn’t like any of the food she made, or that I was on a diet or anything, I just felt really sick all day that day and I didn’t have the stomach to eat much. Although I ‘did’ let my grandmother know in advance that I wasn’t feeling good, she still made a few comments in front of everyone that I wasn’t eating (which is sadly normal for her to do). You’re right when you say families are wonderful except when they aren’t, how true that statement is!


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