You know that feeling you get when you’re so close to the finish line, and you feel like you’re going to trip and mess it all up? That’s how I’m feeling as I put one foot in front of the other and slowly walk to my goal.
Today, we lost an hour of time as daylight savings time comes around again. A whole hour.
A lot can be done in one hour..
I have to admit that today wasn’t very productive. But this week I’ve started working on my business plan again for my future farm and I’m happy to be doing that again. I hadn’t had much time for it lately because of school and work, but today is a good example on why we use our time wisely before it’s gone.
As I start looking towards the future, I can’t help but cherish the present and be thankful for the past. I know that today will soon be gone, and that one day I’ll be looking back on today as a distant memory. As I look back over my four years of living here at my grandparents place, I am amazed at all of the things I have learned.
I’ve learned patience here while watching things (and people) grow. I sat on my swing or walked circles around this property for hours, just letting my mind wander and waiting. Waiting for my plants to grow, waiting for the seasons to change, waiting for people who would never change, waiting for my anxiety to get better, and waiting for the future I wanted so dearly. I’ve waited for the rain, I’ve waited for compost to break down, I’ve waited for the Winter to turn to Spring, I’ve waited for plants that would never sprout, and plants that would. I’ve learned that time truly does heal wounds, that all good things take time, and that if we are patient with nature it’ll show us its true beauty.
I’ve learned a lot about myself as well while living here. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I thought, and that with the right attitude I can get through anything. I’ve learned that family isn’t everything, but that I will always want my family by my side. I’ve learned that I can do anything I set my mind to, whether or not certain people tell me that it is an impossible dream. Over the past four years, I’ve surprised myself by pushing past the boundaries I had set for myself, and realizing that the boundaries set by others don’t exist. I’ve endured storms, heartache, and disappointment, yet I do not break. I come back stronger than ever because I grow like nature, and I adapt like nature. I’ve learned that I can do things by myself and rely on myself, but that I also don’t want to go through life alone.
I have learned that if something is broken, I can fix it. I’ve learned that a fresh coat of paint makes everything look better. And I’ve learned that if I want something, I have to make it happen myself. I live on a homestead, and for me that means I have to put in the hard work in order to reap the rewards. We don’t throw away something just because it’s broken or starting to break, I work hard to keep what I have because once it’s gone it’s gone. I’ve learned that if something isn’t how I pictured it, throwing a fresh coat of paint on it helps. Sometimes in order to feel better about a situation, you must first change your perception on it. I’ve learned that a hammer and nails can go a long way, and that I can always teach myself new things. And most importantly, I’ve learned not to give up on the things that look broken.
I’ve learned a lot over these past four years here, and I will always cherish the time and hard work I’ve put into this property. But just as the seasons are changing, I too am changing and the world around me shows that change.
As I get closer and closer to the finish line, I remember what I’ve learned and I take a moment to look back and reflect. Someday I’ll miss the simple days of living with my grandparents. Someday I’ll look back at these days and wish I could go back in time. But we must always keep moving forward and we must all keep our eyes on what we want.
For me, I know that someday I’ll have my farm. All I have to do is look up at the picture I drew to remind myself of what I’m working hard everyday to accomplish this goal.
That’s my dream. What’s yours?
(Let me know in the comments below!)
I love that bench.
My dream is still the same, hoping one day to have my own home, with a garden, so I can get growing my own food like I once did before. But until then, I still have a solicitor to pay when things are done with regards being a deputy for my mum’s financial affairs. This is still going on and and I feel my life has been put on hold because I will be saving from nearly scratch, when that is paid.
So in case it doesn’t happen, I am back to looking at council properties to rent and hoping one day, I may have luck with that. But that’s seems an impossible dream because the banding system means I am at band 5,meaning I am in a suitable property already, so others that need a property more will always get one before me.
But if I was to be lucky, it would mean being able to save much more, if I still wanted to persue buying my own property.
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You sound like you’re stuck in the same boat I was. When I first moved in with my grandparents to help them out, all of my focus was on helping my family. Back then I had no job, very little money, and a lot of dreams I thought would never come true. I have had to build myself from the ground up, like a Phoenix rising from it’s own ashes, and it has been a difficult four years. I’m not at all where I thought I would be in life, and I was set back quite a few years, but those years have done well to better prepare me for what’s out there and what I truly want in life.
Never give up on the life you want Liz. 🏡 Always follow your heart and do what makes you happy. It may not be as soon as you’d like, but someday you WILL have your dream property. Good things come to those who wait and everything happens for a reason. Until then, just keep a positive mindset and you’ll get there someday. 🙂
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Thank you. Surprisingly, somewhere in sidd of me I am still not giving up and hoping on my dream. I am just tired with my some of my current circumstances. Its supposed to be easier now. But it hasn’t.